Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
