That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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