Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Randomize
