btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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