i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
