I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize