my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize