You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Randomize
