I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
