Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
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