your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
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