that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
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Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
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We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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