This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
