Texts From Last Night

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  (320): View more from Minnesota

  If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?

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  (320): If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say? http://tfl.nu/bcus
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  (607): View more from New York

  We can grow old together and our livers can fail together

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  (607): We can grow old together and our livers can fail together http://tfl.nu/ku07
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  (315): View more from New York

  why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?

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  (315): why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall? http://tfl.nu/qv4b
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..

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  (479): Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know.. http://tfl.nu/03rh
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.

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  (307): The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though. http://tfl.nu/bysz
  Replies (8) Good night (866) Bad night (3093) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?

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  (865): If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right? http://tfl.nu/p6zg
  Replies (19) Good night (2749) Bad night (854) Order T-Shirt
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.

  (417): View more from Missouri

  I can't feel my brain.

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  (417): I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison. (417): I can't feel my brain. http://tfl.nu/qap9
  Replies (11) Good night (1719) Bad night (3976)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket

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  (703): I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket http://tfl.nu/mrk6
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home

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  (217): Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home http://tfl.nu/w5oh
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.

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  (432): I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame. http://tfl.nu/e3aq
  Replies (13) Good night (497) Bad night (3235) Order T-Shirt
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark

  (1-678): View more from Georgia

  ...

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  (678): Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark (1-678): ... http://tfl.nu/supo
  Replies (8) Good night (1363) Bad night (567) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.

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  (707): He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple. http://tfl.nu/9nil
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  (323): View more from California

  I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.

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  (323): I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity. http://tfl.nu/wqm4
  Replies (6) Good night (1724) Bad night (502) Order T-Shirt
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.

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  (865): So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall. http://tfl.nu/00be
  Replies (2) Good night (1071) Bad night (303) Order T-Shirt
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?

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  (703): can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ? http://tfl.nu/41ep
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