I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
27 People Confess The Worst Jobs They’ve Ever Had
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.