Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
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A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
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That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!