i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples