One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
