I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
