I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize