btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
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