so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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