there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
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