i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
