my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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