is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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