you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize