I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize