If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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