Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
