didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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