Barsexuality is the new black.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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