doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
How external is "for external use only"?
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
