i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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