kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
