btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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