I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Im part way to drunk.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
