I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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