Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Randomize
