I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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