and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
BRING THE BAGELS
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
