so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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