Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
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I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
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I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize