his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
Randomize