Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
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