There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
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