The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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