i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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