And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
