last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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