it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
