It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
