Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
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