girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
