My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
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