I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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