Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
