whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
i already hear my dad disowning me
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize