She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Wtf am i supposed to tell my kids when they ask about my first time? "Mommy got drunk off her ass and fucked a total stranger in another stranger's bedroom, then got abandoned by the selfish prick and walk of shamed to the nearest gas station to call a cab, but ended up passed out in a park in a pool of her own puke."
At least mommy was smart enough to use protection and hack into the asshole's facebook account.
Well of course. Mommy may be a slutty drunk but she ain't no idiot.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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