Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
There's always time for handjobs
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Randomize
