I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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