no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
